I'm not sure how to start so I'll begin with the end.
I want a happy life with my beautiful sweetheart, mulberry, and a baby or two or three. (oh my!)
The future notwithstanding, here, in this moment, is where I want to live. But it's so hard for me sometimes that I find ways to recede and dodge my true desires in the hectic day-to-day of urban living.
I am very new to this world of personal blogging. But like many, once I started to read and read and read the heartfelt, heart wrenching, slap funny words, rages, and joys of others in the blogger world, it felt wrong to not participate. Even though I am unquestionably very social (in matters of art, politics, helping a stranger), I am paradoxically and unfathomably private -- and the thought of putting private unformed thought in a space outside my head seems risky, but here for me now is about risks and actualizing dreams in the here.
This is a girl who when she was six, her mother bought her a gold pendant with the symbol for Libra on it even though she is a Taurus. When I asked her why, she said, "Taurus, the bull, is very powerful. People don't need to know the power you have or they'll want to take it from you. Or keep it from you." Although my mother teaches me many things with her generous, humble, tragedy-stirred life, she was only partially right. Although she is a health professional with two advanced degrees, the old world fears of spells and magic slip in where she doesn't notice and have imprinted me (for better and for not). My life teaches me that power is within and that power is, among other things, also for the sharing.
Mulberry heard me say that as much as we need each other, we need community to help us navigate through this new territory we've chosen. So she set up shop and started to write. She encouraged me to do the same. So there. I'm here.
I want a happy life with my beautiful sweetheart, mulberry, and a baby or two or three. (oh my!)
The future notwithstanding, here, in this moment, is where I want to live. But it's so hard for me sometimes that I find ways to recede and dodge my true desires in the hectic day-to-day of urban living.
I am very new to this world of personal blogging. But like many, once I started to read and read and read the heartfelt, heart wrenching, slap funny words, rages, and joys of others in the blogger world, it felt wrong to not participate. Even though I am unquestionably very social (in matters of art, politics, helping a stranger), I am paradoxically and unfathomably private -- and the thought of putting private unformed thought in a space outside my head seems risky, but here for me now is about risks and actualizing dreams in the here.
This is a girl who when she was six, her mother bought her a gold pendant with the symbol for Libra on it even though she is a Taurus. When I asked her why, she said, "Taurus, the bull, is very powerful. People don't need to know the power you have or they'll want to take it from you. Or keep it from you." Although my mother teaches me many things with her generous, humble, tragedy-stirred life, she was only partially right. Although she is a health professional with two advanced degrees, the old world fears of spells and magic slip in where she doesn't notice and have imprinted me (for better and for not). My life teaches me that power is within and that power is, among other things, also for the sharing.
Mulberry heard me say that as much as we need each other, we need community to help us navigate through this new territory we've chosen. So she set up shop and started to write. She encouraged me to do the same. So there. I'm here.
3 comments:
beautiful... thank you for this glimpse into your struggles to have and show your power in the world. you are my sweetest delight! mulberry
thank YOU baby. you rock my love...when are you coming home again? xxxoo d
I am glad you are here and writing.
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